The Search for Something Real

Wedding planning can feel like a tidal wave of logistics. The spreadsheets, the supplier lists, the endless checklists—it’s easy to get lost in the details. But after years of talking to couples, I’ve realised that beneath all the planning, most people are searching for something simpler: vendors who actually get them. As a Castlemartyr wedding photographer, I’ve had countless conversations that start with venues and timelines but quickly shift to what truly matters—the story, the feeling, and the people you trust to capture it. These conversations have taught me a few truths that you won’t find in any brochure, and I want to share them with you.

1. The Two-Minute Email That Means Everything

I was on a call with a potential bride recently, and she told me the most critical reason she reached out. It wasn’t my portfolio or my pricing; it was my initial email reply. In a world of automation, that slight, personal touch meant everything.

It’s funny, I take my inspiration for this from my mother-in-law, who owns a clothes boutique in town. On a cold day, she’ll leave the door open just because it looks more inviting. When people walk in, she gives them her full attention for 10 or 15 minutes, without ever being pushy. She’s not just making a sale; she’s making a connection. I realised that’s exactly how I should be. Taking two minutes to write a genuine, non-automated message shows I’m invested from the start. It’s the first and best indicator of how a vendor will treat you on the day itself: as another job, or as a story they genuinely want to help tell.

You didn’t send me an automated reply. … and that meant like a lot.

2. The Real Magic Happens Between the “Key Moments”

Every wedding has its “key moments”: the first kiss, the cutting of the cake, the first dance. A photographer can show up, get those shots, and then drink coffee while waiting for the next big thing. But the real story, the actual fabric of the day, isn’t in those planned events. It’s in all the unscripted moments in between.

It’s catching you in a real belly laugh, seeing your bridesmaids do something completely ridiculous, or capturing the quiet glance you share with your partner across a crowded room. My job isn’t to create moments; it’s to find them. This means putting in a shift, being present, and constantly looking for the narrative that is naturally unfolding. It’s a documentary approach, and I’ve found that if you’re patient and observant, a unique story always reveals itself.

It’s like a story always emerges. Always.

3. How to Get Trendy Photos That Won’t Look Dated in 10 Years

Photo editing styles come and go. The film look is popular right now, but many couples worry, “What if there’s a fad and it doesn’t age well?” It’s a valid concern. You want photos that feel current and artistic, but you also want a record of your day that remains timeless. The solution I’ve found is a dual-delivery approach that gives you the best of both worlds.

First, you receive a curated “highlight” gallery of about 300 of the best images. These are delivered non-chronologically, and here I apply what I playfully call the “fatty filter”—whatever artistic style feels current and exciting. It’s fun, creative, and a beautiful way to see the day’s most powerful moments.

But then—and this is the crucial part—you receive the complete gallery of every single photo (often 1,200-1,500 images) in chronological order. Each of these is edited in what I call “true to life color.” They are crisp, clean, and classic. This way, you get to enjoy a current trend without ever risking that your primary wedding album will look dated in a decade.

4. Your Best Vendors Can Be Your Secret Guides

When you’re building your team of wedding suppliers, you’ll get plenty of official recommendations. But some of the most honest and valuable advice can come from the vendors you’ve already booked and trust. For example, when couples ask me about videographers, I know the difference between someone who is genuinely invested in the art and a “high volume” person with a cookie-cutter approach.

But it goes deeper than that. Your photographer, planner, or venue coordinator has firsthand experience seeing who is collaborative and who protects the couple’s experience. There are times I’ve worked with a videographer who can lean a bit “cookie-cutterish,” and I know how to pull them back to a more natural approach gently. A good vendor doesn’t just give you a list; they help build a team that will work together seamlessly on the day, preserving the natural flow of your party.

5. Plan Your First 48 Hours, Not Just Your Honeymoon

This might be the most critical piece of advice I give to couples. Your wedding day is an incredible, emotional whirlwind. You’re surrounded by everyone you love, and the energy is non-stop. But it moves so fast that it can take weeks to process fully. I remember after my own wedding, it took a full two weeks for the scale of it to sink in.

Because of this, I strongly recommend against jumping straight into a busy honeymoon. Don’t plan to hit the ground running in New York City where, as I learned firsthand, you just end up walking like a dog all day. Instead, plan a simple 48-hour “mini-moon” somewhere close by where you can do absolutely nothing. Your only goal should be to relax, decompress, and lie down. This quiet time together is crucial for letting the joy of the day truly settle before you rush off to the next thing.

it took me two weeks to realize that it was the best day of my life. I’d highly recommend going somewhere for 48 hours that you can just lie down.

Beyond the Photographs

Ultimately, choosing your wedding vendors is about more than a service or a final product. It’s about finding people who understand that their job is to preserve not just images, but a feeling. It’s about finding partners who are invested in your story and who will help you remember the day for what it truly was. As you continue your planning, ask yourself this one question: who do you trust to tell your story?